Youth Resource Guide

Choosing a therapist can be a daunting task, since it is hard to know how to find the right person. It is helpful to see yourself as an "educated consumer" in this process, since you have a right to shop around, make comparisons, and ask questions of any prospective therapist that will help you find someone with whom you feel comfortable. It is also helpful to keep in mind that for counseling or therapy to be effective, you and the therapist have to work as a team in understanding and resolving your difficulties. The right match is important. While experience and credentials are important, they are only half the equation for successful therapy. You want to choose someone who feels right to you.

There are basically three steps to choosing a therapist:

FIRST, get two or three names and numbers of therapists in your area. This directory lists some professional associations that can give you referrals (see below). You can also get referrals from:

• a friend or family member
• a trusted teacher, coach, nurse, or school counselor
• another health professional, such as your family doctor or your health clinic
• your priest, minister, or rabbi
• the yellow pages in the phone book (if you are really stuck, but it's not the best option)

SECOND, have a brief (5-10 minute) phone conversation with these therapists, to "feel them out." In this phone call you can tell the therapist briefly about your current situation or problem and why you want to come to therapy. In these few minutes, you shouldn't expect a free therapy session on the phone, but you can get a feel for how the therapist treats you - do they make it easy for you to talk? Do they respond in a way that feels comfortable to you? This might be a good time to ask about schedules and fees (including sliding scale/reduced cost fees and insurance coverage if you have some), to make sure that you are able to work with this therapist. If you feel OK about this therapist from this phone call, set up an initial consultation appointment. If your instincts are telling you that this person might not be right for you, thank them politely for their time, say that you are calling several people, and that you will call back later if you want to make an appointment. That way, you leave the door open if you do want to check them out further.

THIRD, once you have made an appointment with one or two therapists, consider your first session a "trial run" to see if you feel comfortable with him or her. It is natural to feel nervous at the beginning, but after talking for a while you should find that the therapist is helping to put you at ease. After you have discussed your main concern/problem for a while, you might want to ask a few questions to help you find out about this therapist. There is no single right answer to these questions, but the therapist should answer non-defensively and provide enough information that you feel reassured. Possible questions include:

• How long have you been practicing? (More than a few years...)
• What areas do you specialize in? (It is better if the therapist has experience working with teenagers and young adults.)
• How many clients have you worked with who have had similar issues to mine (e.g., exploring sexual orientation/coming out issues, transgender issues, family issues, etc.)?
• What about confidentiality? Will you be talking to my parents/family?

Look for a therapist who is willing to listen carefully and explore issues with you, rather than one who offers a quick solution or gives a lot of advice. You may want to meet two or three times before you decide to work together. These sessions, called consultation sessions, will help you determine if the therapist is right for you. Trust your instincts about finding the right therapist. And if anything happens in the therapy that makes you very uncomfortable, be sure to speak up right away. Tell the therapist if you can, but be sure to tell another adult you trust. Therapy is hard work, but your therapist should always be sensitive to how it is feeling for you.